he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
