Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
