Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
