she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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