everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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