i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
only you would photoshop your dick
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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