Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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