All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
All the doctor said was why
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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