Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
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It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
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How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize