So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
