Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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