I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
