what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
