She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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