I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
