I wish I only lived at night.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
