It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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