just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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