dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We are all done wearing pants today
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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