We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
