I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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