Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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