dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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