Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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