That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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