You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
