My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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