yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize