burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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