SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
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