o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
