I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
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Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
