Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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