she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
