those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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