so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
