why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
