So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
