Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
