so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
accomplished twins. life is a go
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
