3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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