im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
