marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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