ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
