glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Sex in the backyard? Check.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
