I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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