I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
