me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
