I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
i need some magic done to my vagina
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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