I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
