i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
