That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
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Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
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Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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