yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
