So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
