What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
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I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You're like the curious george of whores
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
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I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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