I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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