why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
